


Forgotten Time

by Lunar_Bee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Anxiety, BDSM, Daddy Dean, Daddy Kink, Daddy dom little girl, Dean is a Sweetheart, Dom/sub, Domestic, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Gen, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light BDSM, Little Space, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Papa Sam, Polyamory, Protective Sam Winchester, Rape, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, couples, dd/lg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2018-11-03 12:08:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunar_Bee/pseuds/Lunar_Bee





	1. Old Friends

Another bar, another city, another stupid hunt. It's like my life is stuck on repeat. I feel someone sit down next to me alcohol on their breath. I turn to see a sleazy looking man. Standing about a foot taller than me and twice as round. He wasn't a hunter but he had muscles and at the moment I'd rather not deal with some scumbag. His hand lands on the small of my back and I quickly shove him off.

"Come on sweet cheeks don't be like that. Lets get outta here. I'll show you a good time." He says his hot breath wafting across my face

"Hmm compelling but, No thanks. I have other things I need to do." 

He rolls his eyes and sits against the bar. I down the rest of my scotch and hop down from the bar stool. I feel a hand come down across my jean clad ass and before I can punch the sleazy he's already half way across the bar. I smooth my shirt out. It's not worth it Jinx, Not worth it. I feel dirty. I need to get back to the motel and research whatever is going on here, at least..I'll try to before I regress mentally. It's all voluntary of course. It's an escape from the hunting life and my mother. I've been age regressing for a while starting when I was 10, The first time my mother was really abusive, she drank. Typical for the trade, I guess. She let people use me for their 'fantsies' for years, let them abuse my adolescent body. She cussed me out and beat me more times than I can count but she also taught me everything I know. I'm a good hunter no matter what she says. I remember stumbling upon a website full of people who regressed. I felt like I had a community to belong to. I open the doors of the bar and the cool air hits my face. I pull my leather jacket closer to my body and I feel an arm around my waist. Fuck this guy followed me outside. 

"I'm not taking a no for an answer little girl, You're coming with me, You're going to fuck me then You're going to leave."

"As fucking if get the hell away from me."

I shove at his chest but he's got about 100 lbs on me. He jerks me into the ally behind the bar, throwing me to the ground. I fight against him as he pulls of my jacket and tank top. I try to kick him in the balls but he pins my legs to the ground. I curse myself for not letting my nails grow out so I could scratch the fuck out of him. I push and shove against his chest with everything I have. I can't let this happen to me. I squeeze my eyes shut against my will, my body going into shock. My body goes numb, I don't want to remember what comes next. My limbs go limp and I turn my head away from the hot breath of the evil man. My eyes crack open to see the dark ally and the sound of a zipper overwhelms my ears. I want to fight back to kick him off of me but my body betrays me. I lay silent and still as my jeans and underwear are pushed past my bottom. Tears cascade down my cheeks in a silent cry for help. I count the bricks on the wall of that dark ally. My body burns in pain as he enters me spilling my virginity onto the concrete. I felt my vision start to go. I don't yet know how long he was assaulting me. I just know that when I came to my senses he was gone. I was haphazardly dressed, laying on the pavement in the ally. I felt sticky liquid on my now soaked jeans, My bottom burning like hell fire. I felt a sob make its way into my throat. Violated and dirty, I stand up, body screaming. I go to my bike and the keys are in the ignition. I ride away. I know I should have called the police or gone to the hospital but, I can't face anyone at the moment. I don't bother with my helmet, The cool air keeping me from regressing. I pull into the parking lot and stumble off the bike. I walk towards the door as quickly as I can but I collide with something before I can. 

"Hey miss are you alright?" Says a gruff honey tinted voice

"I um I'm fine."

I look up at the man standing a head above me. Brown shaggy hair falling to his shoulders. He looks at me, His face creased with worry. 

"Are you sure? You're hurt" He says looking at the blood on my jeans and my ripped up tank

"I'm um I got into a fight at a bar nothing to worry about now excuse me please"

He moves out of the way quickly and I push into my room shoving the key into the door. I wish I could have talked to someone even that man, He seemed kind. I push into the grimey bathroom throwing my clothes off and into the corner not daring to look at the blood or the mirror. I don't want to see the dirty bruises and cuts the mans hands left on me. I slowly climb into the shower my eyes shut tight letting the warm water wash away the feeling of guilt i wash my ass carefully, openly sobbing into the wall of the shower. I sink to the floor of the tub sitting as the water sprays me and my mind regressing. I don't want to move or think. I just want my pajamas, my stuffie named Cassy and my bottle. I don't care if its cold. The water runs cold before I am able to pull myself out of the tub. I pull on a bra and cute panties quickly and pull the footie pajamas over my shivering and pale frame. I pinch at the fat around my stomach and I sniffle. I can't worry about that now. I zip up the pajamas grabbing my stuffed giraffe nuzzling my face into its soft fabric. I sit on the play mat that Big me laid out for me. I lay on my tummy and talk to Cassy for a while but he's people skills are a little rusty and it gets boring. I want to watch Scooby Doo. I still feel very breakable like if I do anything I might start cryin again and I don't wanna cry again. I get up on wobbly legs my bottom very sore. I toddle over to the small fridge in the room and get my bottle out plopping down on my tummy again on the mat. I drink the bottle quickly but, I'm still scared. Everything seems entirely too big. I feel wet tears stream down my face as I lay tummy down on the mat. I all alone. No one wants me. I keep getting hurts by mean peoples. A sob rips its way through my body before I can silence it with the bottle. Like my body and soul is calling out for someone to come help me. As if by magic, which it probably was, I hear a soft knock on the door. I rub the tears out of my eyes. I want someone to holds me and and make me a bottle and read a story. I waddle to the door opening it just a little. Wiping my eyes one last time I look up at the man blocking the door way. He looks at me for a moment as I feel shyness creep in. He pushes the door a little and I let it open letting him take in my body. His eyes scan over my body and the room behind me. My toys spread out over the room. My diapers laying on the counter next to the sink. Stray tears make their way down my now burning cheeks.

"Sweetie are you okay? I heard someone crying. Was that you?" He asks squatting down slightly so he could be face to face with my 5'0" body

I look down at my feet, wiggling my toes slightly. I wipe my nose on my sleeve. I feel like my cheeks must be on fire with how hot they are. I push the door lightly, trying to close it.

"Hey, Hey it's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed. My name is Sam okay? Can you say that?"

I think for a moment before repeating his name to him.

"Now whats your name sweetpea?"

"E-ember" I stutter lightly still watching my feet

"Ember..That's such a pretty name, Okay honey are you hurt?"

I chew on my bottom lip lightly before nodding. 

"Where are you hurt Ember? Can you tell me?"

I don't want anyone to see so I move out of the way and let him in. He sits at the small table. I stand in front of him cautiously. He repeats his question.

"Can you tell me sweetie or show me?" 

I pull up the sleeves of my pajamas and show him the bruises and cuts. He takes my arm lightly and as he studies them I watch him curiously. He has kind eyes and I like his shaggy hair. He catches me looking at him and I hurriedly look down my cheeks burning. I hear him chuckle lightly.

"Do you like my hair?" He asks softly and I nod quickly "Well lets make a deal okay? I'll let you play with my hair if you let me see what happened to you and if you answer some questions okay?" 

I study him for a moment. My face scrunched up while thinking. I don't want him to hurt me I don't want to be hurt again. He's a stranger.

"I'm not going to hurt you honey okay? I just want to make sure your boo boo's are okay."

"Why?" I mumble 

"Because sweetie that's what nice people do. And we've met before when you were very little but I'll tell you about that later."

"No hurt me?"

"No honey, I won't hurt you." 

"Make boo boos feel better?"

"I'll try my best."

"I can play with your hair? Even put bow in it?" 

He smiles lightly and his big hand caresses my face lightly "Yes sweetie, you can even put bows in it." 

That did sound fun. I weight my options for a bit, chewing on my fingers lightly. I did want the boo boos to stop hurting and he said he won't hurt me and he knows me I think. I nod a little. 

"Do you want to unzip your pajamas or do you want me too?" 

"I-i do" I say quickly tugging at the zipper letting the pajamas fall off my shoulders, falling to the floor with a light thud 

I wrap my arms around my beaten body and I feel something wet on my side. I pull my fingers back to see a sticky red liquid. My breath catches in my throat. Tears threaten to overflow my eyes. 

"Hey, Hey it's okay, It's okay. Let me see okay, Let Sammy see."

I move my arms and let him see the boo boo. I sniffle lightly.

"Okay I'm gonna have to clean it okay? Do you have some boo boo medicine?"

I nod a little pointing to the Big Ems bag. He pulls the bag to him opening it up quickly and pulling the boo boo stuff out. He walks me over to the bed and makes me lay down. The blankies on the bed are all scratchy and I wiggle around trying to get comfy. 

"I know they aren't very comfy are they?" I shake my head "Try to stay still though okay sweetie? I need to clean the boo boo." 

I nod lightly laying my head on my arm. He wipes the boo boo with a washcloth he had gotten on his way to lay me down. It was warm and nice. He patched it up and put a few band aids on it. I chew on my fingers lightly as he looks over my body.

"Sweetie you don't have to answer okay but there looks like you have a boo boo on your bottom. Did someone hurt you?" 

I bury my head in my arms. Don't wanna talk about it. I hiccup, a soft sob leaving my lips. I feel a warm hand on my back. 

"Okay, it's okay, you don't have to tell me it's okay. Let's get you back in your pajamas. I bet you're cold."

I nod lightly and he picks up the pajamas from the floor. Just as he zips them up there's another knock at the door. 

"I'll be right back okay sweetie, That's probably my brother. His name is Dean, can you say that?"

"De?" 

He chuckles lightly before nodding. "Good job honey thats right! Now you go play on your play mat okay? Sammy will be right back."

I lay down on my stomach playing with Cassy. Sam goes to the door opening it, carefully stepping out of the room.

~

I glance back at her before closing the door lightly. I turn to face Dean.

"How bad is it? Does she remember us? What happened to her?" 

Deans worry obviously present. We met her when she was younger, not regressed but actually younger. When she still lived with her mother. She was about 11 when we met her for the first time. Her mother hunted with our father. She was shy and scared but also kind. The few times we had met up she was littered with bruises. We know what happened, she didn't have to tell us, but she doesn't remember us now. Her mother might have wiped her memory to keep her from us.

"She doesn't remember but she trusts me, more than a stranger would. She remembered your nickname too. De, remember she use to call you that all the time." 

He nods a slight smile ghosting over his face. 

"How bad is she hurt, I know you said she was bleeding when you saw her this evening."

"Bruises all over her, Dean someone hurt her, They raped her." I see his jaw clenched "She won't talk about it which is understandable but she won't let me look. She's terrified. She had a small cut on her rib and she almost burst into tears. She's one hell of a hunter but right now she's vulnerable."

"She's regressed right now?"

I nod slightly. 

"You said she remembered my nickname?"

"Yeah, she just blurted it out when I told her you were at the door."

"You know maybe her mother just locked her memories away in her mind somewhere, maybe hasn't completely forgotten us. Ya know."

I nod again. That does sound reasonable considering her mother was actually insane. She was worse than our father and he was bad enough.

"We need her to tell us at least what the man looked like, he could do this to others, hell he could have already. No one has a right to her body but her." Dean says increasingly angrier 

"Dean I know but like I said she's vulnerable and You need to stay calm to be able to talk to her without her bursting into tears."

"I know...I know I just can't stand the thought of someone doing that to her again. I know her mother let it happen when she was younger. I know it. She wouldn't talk to anyone about it but the fucking scars Sam. This shouldn't have happened again." He says running his fingers through his hair 

"She needs someone right now Dean, She was all alone in here. She let me in without looking. I could have been anything at that door. At least while she's regressed she needs protection."

He nods lightly "You go in first Sam since she knows you a little bit."

I nod opening the door again.

~

I hear the door open again but I'm to busy coloring to look up. I wanted to make Sammy a picture of a moose. I think he'd like that. I grasp Cassy in one arm and color with the other careful not to go outside the lines.

"Sweetie what are you coloring?" Sammy says

I cover it with my arm "Not ready yet is a surprise!"

He throws his hands up faking defeat and I notice the other man standing behind him. Das De! Why do I know that? I stand up carefully, my legs feeling very wobbly and De squats down so he's level with me. My brows knit together focused on his face and why I know him. I drop Cassy onto the ground standing right in front of the short haired man. I reach up touching his face lightly, running my fingers over the stubble across his jaw. It tickles and I smile a bit. It isn't really his face I know but his eyes. His emerald green eyes. I remember them from before when I was little. I remember him reading me a story and Sammy cuddling me. De and Sammy. I kinda remember. Just that one thing. 

"De?"

"Yes honey pie?"

"You read stories to me..when I was little?" I ask lightly

"I did, Do you remember that? Me and Sammy readin you some stories?"

I nod a little before hugging him around the neck. His hands hold me lightly in his embrace and I feel him smile into my shoulder. He pulls away lightly just so he can see my face and I hear Sammy sit on the bed. 

"Sweet pea, Sammy said that someone hurt you. Can you talk to me about it?"

I look down quickly chewing on my lip and shaking my head. I don't wanna talk about it.

"No no hey its okay its okay you don't have to talk about it. Can you tell me what he looked like? Or where it happened?"

"B-bar" I mumble quietly chewing on my fingers

"At the bar? okay thats good you're doing such a good job babygirl"

He smiles softly at me still wanting me to tell him more. 

"H-he was older and and he was bald and he had a tattoo on his neck right there." I say touching the crook of his neck

"Good good girl, You're such a good girl." He says ruffling my hair lightly 

"He was was very mean.." I say my bottom lip trembling

"I know sweetie I know now look can you stay with Sammy for a bit? He's going to read you a story and play games, anything you want but De as to go get something okay?"

"Come back right?"

He smirks a bit "Of course I will." 

He picks me up in a hug walking me over to Sammy and whispering something in Sammys ear before leaving.

Sammy lays me on my tummy handing me Cassy and pulling the blankets over my body. He sits ontop of the covers lightly running his fingers through my hair. I look over at him, carefully studying his face. He's kind and careful and he know a lot of stuff. Oh wait! He said I could play with his hair! I reach up trying to reach his hair. I can't reach. I whine trying to wiggle closer. He chuckles at my antics and pulls me up out of the blankets with ease setting me gently on his lap so I'm facing him. 

"I thought you forgot about playing with my hair silly girl." 

I shake my head quickly before running my fingers through his hair. It's so soft and pretty.

"Okay honey. I have a question. I know you probably already took a bath today but would you like to get in the tub for a bit. It'll help your bottom feel better and I have some bubble bath in my room and it smells really good. You can use that if you want to."

The idea of a bubble bath does sound nice but I don't want Sammy to see my bottom. I don't wanna see it either. I twirl his hair between my fingers thinking to myself. I don't want him to be mad at me because I couldn't help myself but, bubbles. I nod slightly. I did want to feel better. 

"Good girl, Okay lets go to my room and get that bubble bath." I hide my face in his chest "Whats the matter sweetie?" He asks as he stands up carrying me

"Barrassed" I mumble 

"Sweetie you have no reason to be embarrassed right now, You're just a little girl and you need to be taken care of. Plus we can't have those footie pajamas getting dirty now can we?"

I shake my head and he carries me to his room. He grabs the bubble bath still holding me in one of his long arms. I nuzzle into his neck still playing with his hair with one of my hands while the other grips his shirt. He smells so nice, Like old books and and something else I don't know. He stands and takes us back to my room. 

"Now sweetie you're going to have to let go of me for bath time okay?"

No I don't like that idea at all if I let go Sammy might leave, I don't want him to leave. I let out a small moan in protest. 

"I know sweetie, I know, You must be feeling so poorly right now, Sammy promises not to leave okay but lets get out of your pajamas okay? Then you can get in the warm bath."

I nod slightly letting Sammy set me down on the tile of the bathroom floor. He holds onto my hand as he turns on the water in the tub. He pours a bit of bubble sollution into the water. The bubbles start to form and I let out a small giggle. They look so fluffy I want to touch them. I go to reach in the tub but I feel a very large hand grasp my wrist.

"Uh uh honey, don't wanna get those pjs wet now do we?" He says in a jovial manner

I giggle and shake my head shimmying out of the pajamas quickly. I look up at him waiting pacicently.

"Sweetie you need to take off the pull up too okay? and your bra."

I chew on my lip before slowly pulling off the bra and discarding it on the floor. Just as I put my fingers in the waist band of my pull up he stops me. 

"Sweetie now, whenever you pull down the pull up there might be blood but don't worry okay Sammy will help fix it." His phone rings and he quickly answers "Yeah.....No there aren't any bite marks on her that I can see....She's about to get in the bath can you bring some food when you get here.....Yes Dean I know, she's safe I promise....Okay yeah see you in 10"

De? De was coming back! I jump on the balls of my feet lightly. I wish he was here now though. 

"De come home?" I ask quietly as Sammy puts his phone away

"Oh..yeah De coming home that's right. Sweeite I have a question." I look up at him expectivly "Did the mean man bite you anywhere you can remember or did he get his blood in your mouth?"

I think for a moment. No he never did I would remember that. I shake my head lightly and you can see his shoulders relax slightly. I hold my arms out slighly wanting him to pick me up again. He helps me pull down the pull up then he picks me up depositing me in the tub. I wince slightly when the water touches my bottom.

"I know sweetie but once it's clean it'll feel better." 

He sits on the tile floor next to me and he smiles as I cup the bubbles in my hands. I blow the bubbles lightly and they fly up hitting him and sticking to his hair. I giggle heartily. He looks so silly. He laughs brushing the bubbles out quickly before getting a washcloth from the counter. He scrubs my body lightly starting with my arms and working his way down my body. He pauses before he gets to my bottom.

"Now sweetie it will hurt when I clean down there but I want you to hold my hand okay? Hold Sammys hand"

I look up at him wearily before taking his hand. He runs over the sensitive and broken skin and I whimper putting my head on his hand. He hurries his movements making sure I'm clean before kissing the top of my head. 

"Good girl, such a good girl, Look we're all done! Come ere lets get you out okay?"

"Hurts" I say keeping my head tucked against his hand 

"I know sweetie but it'll get better, Let Sammy take care of you okay?"

I nod letting him drain the now muddy red water. He helps me stand up the bubbles sticking to my body. I look so silly with them on me. I wiggle my body letting the bubbles fall to the tub bottom. He chuckles.

"Having fun are we?"

I nod as he pulls me out of the tub wrapping a towel around my body. He rubs my body dry and takes me back into the main room. He sets me on the bed placing my pajamas beside me.

"Where are your pull ups sweetie?"

I point to my green and black dino bag. It's my favorite. He grabs the bag pulling out a pull up and wipes and some cream. 

"Now Sammy is going to clean you up okay? I'll be really gentle. Do you want your stuffed animal?"

I grunt in agreement "Cassy!"

He grabs the stuffed giraffe handing it to me. I bury my face in Cassys soft fur. Sammy smiles slightly before laying me back on the bed. He wipes me clean before applying cream and powders. The powders come up in a cloud just as I peek over Cassy. I giggle and he smiles as he slips the pull up over my legs, Helping me stand up to pull it over my bum. He grabs my sports bra before slipping it over my head quickly. He pulls it into place before resting his hands on my hips. 

"Now do you want to wear some pjs or do you wan to wear a Sammy shirt?"

I tug on his shirt lightly with my free hand and he chuckles. 

"Okay okay here we go. I'll ask De to grab me another one."

He pulls his shirt off and pulls it over my head. This has happened before. I remember it was raining and Sammy offered me his jacket because my mom wouldn't buy me one. I think I still have that jacket somewhere. They were so nice to me. Sammy picks me up quickly. 

"There we go all better, Now I bet my little baby is hungry isn't she?"

I nod a little my tummy growling. He goes over to the fridge pulling out a bottle and heating it in the microwave. 

"Sammy?" I ask softly looking up at him

"Hmm?" 

"I remember somethin else"

"You did sweetie? What did you remember?" He asks setting me on the counter while the bottle heats up 

"I remember you givin me your jacket when I was littles" I say softly

"That I did, I'm glad you remembered something sweetie." He says kissing my head softly 

He grabs the bottle before picking me up and bringing us over to the bed. He sits down pulling me into his chest.

"Story?" I ask hopefully 

"You want me to read you something honey?"

I nod hopping off his lap and toddling over to the book bag pulling out the first harry potter book. I hear him chuckle lightly before I climb back into his lap. 

"Okay harry potter it is." He says smiling and placing the nipple of the bottle against my lips

I accept the bottle gratefully, sucking the formula down lazily. It tastes so much better warm. He starts reading. The rumble of his voice and the steady thumping of his heart beat lulling me in to a light sleep before he can even finish the first chapter.


	2. A Nightmare and A Diner

I felt her body relax into my chest and I pull her closer protectively. She remembered something else which is good. Maybe exposure to us is helping. I place the bottle on the night stand along with the book. I turn on the crummy TV flipping through the channles idily. I glance at the clock it's nearly midnight why isn't Dean back yet. I shoot him a text.

'Dean bring me a shirt from our room on your way back.' 

I study the girls face, She's so innocent and sweet. What her mother did to her isn't right, Worse than what John could have ever done to Dean and I. I hear my phone ding and I glance at it lazily.

'Grabbing your shirt now let me in.'

I deposit Ember under the covers before tip toeing over to the door and unlocking it.

"How is she?" Dean asks handing me my shirt

"She's okay now, She's remembering bits and peices of us. So that guy was a vampire?"

"Yeah he was the only one left. I'm surprised he let her go." He says pulling off the leather jacket

"Yeah same here. Dean she might need a doctor when I put her in the bath there was a lot of blood. I mean He might have torn something inside her."

He nods setting the food on the table. 

"We'll figure it out tomorrow now eat up and lets get to bed."

"Dean I'm not a kid" I say jokingly 

He just chuckles and stuffs his face with a greasy burger. I grab one of the burgers eating it quickly.

"How much stuff does she have like for being little?" He says between mouthfuls

"Not much, she needs some more pull ups and stuff. She barely has enough to get by right now if I'm being honest." 

He nods crumbling up the wrapper for the burger taking a drink of his soda. 

"We can order some stuff online later, Does she have enough to get through till we get to the bunker?" 

"Yeah definitely but she might not be little tomorrow it all depends on her." I say glancing at her "She asked about you, when you called, She wanted you to come home right then." I say lightly

He smiles softly "I'm glad she remembered us even if it's just one or two memories. On another note I got ahold of Cas and told him about her. He's going to come to the bunker and see if he can do anything to help with her memories."

I nod finishing my burger and crumbling the wrapper. I kick off my boots before sitting on the bed lightly. She shifts in her sleep before finding a more comfortable way to sleep. 

"I'll sleep in our room for tonight, she needs someone here just in case she wakes up or anything." Dean says standing up and dusting off

"Plus you need a shower dude you stink." I chuckle 

"Shut up, bitch" He grumbles

"Jerk" I say rolling my eyes. 

He smiles before walking over to Ember kissing her lightly on the forehead before placing the discarded toy in her arms.

"You know she named it Cassy right? I wonder if she subconsciously remembers Cas."

"She might who knows. That's not really a normal name for a giraffe ya know"

I nod and he tucks her in lightly before leaving to go to our room. I scoot up next to her in the bed pulling the covers over both of us. She insictively pulls into my body claiming the warmth as her own. I run my fingers through her short damp hair and she makes a small noise in response, wiggling closer to me. Her leg wraps around my hip and her arm drapes over my chest. Her hand grips my shirt, fingers flexing slightly. Her innocence radiating through her body. As a child I remember her mom dumping her into a hotel room with us. Her body would be littered with bruises and not from hunts, she was to young. Dean would help make her food and I would clean her, Bathe her, give her haircuts when she needed it. Which was everytime we saw her. I remember one time she came over her hair was so matted we had to just shave her head. She was actually so happy. She would just grin and hug both Dean and I. I smile softly letting her head rest against my chest. I hope she'll remember both Dean and I as time goes on. I relax against the lumpy pillow letting my eyes fall shut to the sound of her soft breathing. 

~

Ember its just a dream. Just a dream. His hands on my body pushing me into the wall. Just a dream. Hands ripping clothes. Just a dream. I want Sammy, The mans body pressing to mine. Please someone help me. Pain radiating from my bottom. Sammy please help me it hurts. Don't like it Sammy. I feel so small against the vision of the man in my nightmare. The scene changes to my mother casting disapproving glances at me while she talks to a man. Her hand gripping my arm bruising the pale flesh.

"Mommy no, don't let the man hurt me!" I scream as he takes me away from her

One slap across the face then two. His hands pin me to the ratty bed. He punches me in the stomach the air escaping my lungs in a rush. Its just a dream. I want to be awake now please. He gropes my chest hard, squeezing and pulling the tiny buds just starting to form on my small body. I scream for help, for someone to save me. I struggle against the frame that seems entirely to big for the room. I felt a rush of air and I sit up in the motel bed. Back in reality. The sun shines through the closed blinds and I feel the bed shift beside me and vaguely hear someone calling my name.

"Ember, Ember what is it? Are you okay?"

Tears stream down my face before I can say anything and I climb into the familiar embrace of Sammy. 

"Oh Darling it's okay, Just a dream, It was just a bad dream." 

His hands rub my back lightly as tears soak his tee shirt. I cling to him feeling like he is the only thing keeping me grounded. Sammy and De always made me feel better, I know that. I remember coming to them crying after a nightmare and them letting me sleep with them. De always brought me water and Sammy cuddled me. I let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. Sammy picks me up making me straddle him so he can wrap his arms around my body. He holds me until my sobs turn to sniffles. He pulls back slightly making me look at him.

"There she is there's my Ember!" He says happily 

He tickles my sides lightly making me giggle and I bury my head in his neck. He checks his phone and helps me off of him. 

"Come on sweetie De's gonna meet us outside, But we have to get dressed and make sure you're all clean."

I groan and bury myself in his chest. I don't wanna leave, his so warm and comforting.

"I know a certain little giraffe that has been missing its Ember" He says excitment in his voice

I glance up at him and he's holding Cassy in his large hand. I reach for him but Sammy pulls him away. I glare up at Sammy. That wasn't very nice. 

"I know I know bad Sammy but we need to get up silly." 

He helps me sit up lightly, handing me Cassy. 

"Now where are your little clothes huh?" He asks pulling on his shoes

I point to a small black duffle bag next to the door. All I have is big girl clothes. He walks over and grabs the bag setting it on the bed with him. He grabs out a pair of jeans.

"Do you want to wear my shirt today?"

I nod quickly "Sweetie would you like to come home with De and I?"

I nod again excited. I really did want to live with them. They were nice and took care of me all night. Sammy grabs stuff to change my pull up and lays it on the bed. He packs up my bottles and other supplies. He sets the bags by the door and turns back to me. 

"Come on sleepy head lets get dressed." 

He lays me back on the bed letting me snuggle with Cassy while he changes my pull up. He slides the new pull up on then my jeans letting his three sizes to big shirt hang down on my now plump frame. He brushes my hair with his fingers after pulling me into a sitting position.

"Now there's my little Ember" He says helping me up

I feel my tummy growl loudly and I look up at Sammy. 

"Oh goodness, your tummy is talking! What's it sayin Emmy!" He says picking me up and resting me on his hip 

"Hungy Hungy!" I say giggling "It want pancakes!" 

"Well we'll just have to get it some pancakes won't we?" He says

He sets me down putting the dino backpack on me and handing me Cassy again. He grabs my other bag and helps me out the door. Where is my bike? I park it right here last night. sensing my panic Sammy explains.

"Sweetie De and Sammy had a friend take your bike home for us. You're to little to ride it right now anyways" 

I blush and giggle. I hear a door open and close a few doors down. I turn around quickly and I see De! De back! I full sprint over to him hugging him around the middle. He makes an oof noise before hugging me back.

"Well good morning sweetie, Did you sleep well? Did Sammy take care of my little Em?"

I nod quickly "Sammy reads Harry Potter and feeded me and and then I had a bad dream but Sammy cuddles with me and made me feel better then then my tummy started growling so Sammy said we could get pancakes!" I ramble on and on as De picks me up

"Oh did he now?" He asks cocking an eyebrow at Sammy 

"Uh huh, He did, Cuz my tummy was talkin and it said it wanted pancakes!" I say giggling 

He nods while walking to the car. He takes the back pack off of me and setting it in the back seat. 

"Well I know a very nice diner down the road we can go to." De says setting me in the back seat "Now De needs to talk to Sammy for a minute can you stay here and play with Cassy?" 

I nod quickly while he buckles me in setting Cassy on my lap. I hold him to myself while De closes to the door. 

~

"She seems to be doing better" I say leaning against the car 

"She's okay now but this morning with the nightmare, It was bad" Sam say glancing at the girl in the car

"Well we know that she isn't turned into a vamp which is a good thing. How was she downstairs?"

"Better she was still bleeding but not as much. I still think we need to take her to the doctors."

"Yeah I know, So Harry Potter?" 

"Hey it's what she wanted to read, Don't blame me." 

I roll my eyes before walking around to the drivers side door. Sam gets in the passenger side before I slide in and cranking up the engine.

~

I tell Cassy about everything that happened and how kind De and Sammy was last night. Sammy get in the car and turns around to look at me. 

"Still doing okay darling?" 

I nod happily bouncing Cassy on my lap. Sammy reaches over and squeezes my hand lightly before De gets in. 

"Ready to go?" De asks cranking up the car

I nod again "Pancakes?"

"Yeah we're gonna go get some big fluffy pancakes!" De says happily 

We pull out of the parking lot driving down the road. I watch the fields go by for what seems like forever before we pull into a small parking lot of an even smaller diner. I set Cassy in the seat beside me and Sammy looks at me funny.

"He's not hungry?" Sammy asks softly 

I shake my head. I have to be big now because there are other people but I can't let De and Sammy knows that. As Sammy and De get out I try to unbuckle myself struggling with the latch.

"Sweetheart let Sammy help you unbuckle." He says opening the door and trying to help

"No! I do" I snap trying to push his hands away 

"Hey hey now, What's going on? Wheres my sweet little girl?" He says gently squatting next to the car

"Not little" I mumble giving up on the buckle

"You're not?" He asks shocked "What shall I do? I'm lost with out my little Em! Who will help me eat my pancakes?" 

"Can't be little." I state crossing my arms over my chest 

"Yes you can honey, is it because we're going in?"

I nod slightly not really wanting to talk anymore.

"Sweetie you can be little, De and I will protect you. You don't have to be scared."

I look up at him slightly. I want to be little but people will think I'm weird. He smiles softly at me brushing my hair back out of my eyes. 

"You don't have to be embarrassed sweetie its just who you are okay? No reason to be embarrassed."

I nod slightly and I move my hands letting him unbuckle. He helps me out of the car handing Cassy to me. He picks me up and De locks the doors on the car. He catches me watching him and De smiles.

"Look how tall you are sweetie! You're taller than me!" De says holding one of my hands

I giggle lightly laying my head on Sammys shoulder. We enter the diner and Sammy sets me down in a booth sliding in next to me. De sits across from me. I sit Cassy next to me in the sort of cramped seat. Sammy keeps an arm around my shoulder rubbing it lightly. 

"See no reason to be afraid or scared" He whispers as De holds my hand 

I nod softly and a sweet lady comes over to us. Her uniform wrinkled slightly and her light blue eyes showed the tiredness of a long shift. Her soft brown hair falling to her shoulders. It's so pretty.

"What can I get ya'll this morning?" She says in a think southern accent

"I'll have a coffee and an omlette and she'll have a hot chocolate, water and pancakes." Sammy says closing the menu and handing it to her

"And for you doll?" She asks De

"Coffee and a burger" He says smiling

"We'll get that right out for ya'll" she says happily walking away

I feel a bit better because Sammy didn't make me order food. I let myself relax a bit while De and Sammy talk. 

"So are we heading back to the bunker after this?" Sammy asks 

"Yeah that's what I was thinking because we need to get Em settled. We can look for another case once we get there since its only a few miles out from here. We need to grab some stuff for the bunker any ways." 

"Yeah plus I was thinking we could make this little one a nursery, Only if she wants it of course." Sammy says ruffling my hair lightly 

I nod quickly. I've never had a nursery before. Does that mean I would have a crib and someone to take care of me. Does that mean I could call Sammy and De names like Daddy? A million questions run through my head so fast that I don't realize the lady setting the food down in front of me. Sammy shakes me lightly to pull me back to reality. 

"Say thank you baby."

"Thank you" I say in nearly a whisper

"You're welcome Darlin" She says lightly before walking away

Sammy starts to cut up my food but I can do that. I'm big! I tug at his shirt.

"I can do it Sammy I a big girl remember?" 

"Oh yes I remember but I was cutting this for Cassy. He needs help and his mouth is to tiny to eat the pancake whole" He says smiling 

I nod quickly giggling. Sammy was right Cassy does need help. I let him continue to cut up the food, Cassy would need help after all. He makes a small pool of syrup and dips a piece in it. He holds it up to my mouth and without realizing it I end up eating half the pancake. He sets the fork down ruffling my hair. 

"You ate so well, Thank you." He says softly kissing me on the forehead

I blush and Sammy finishes eating at the same time as De. I really want De now. I start to squirm in my seat not wanting to ask for De to carry me. 

"What is it Em? Are you okay?" 

I nod and grunt pointing to De who isn't paying attention. I need him doesn't he know that? 

"Use your words baby, What do you need?"

I point to De again whimpering. I want De to hold me now! He needs to pay attention. 

"Oh oh you want De? Dean she wants you now" He says shaking De's arm slightly 

Sammy stands up, going to pay the bill and I shuffle out of the seat dragging Cassy with me. De pulls me into his lap and I snuggle into his arms lightly, my head in his chest. He rubs my back lightly. 

"Did someone get their tummy full?" He whispers in my ear

I nod still keeping my face towards his neck. He holds me as he stands up. 

"Hey Emmy I have a question? Can you look at me?"

I pull away just far enough to look at him. He studies my face carefully before continuing.

"Do you want to go home or would you like to go play at the park?" 

I think for a moment. I want to go home and watch scooby doo. I want Daddy..No De to feed me a bottle. I want Pa..Sammy to read more Harry Potter. 

"Home." I mumble into his shoulder

I don't feel so good. My tummy rumbles and I groan a bit as we leave the diner. 

"Uh oh did you eat to much?" De asks rubbing my back some more 

I nod slightly as he places me in the car. I just want to be cuddles and get home. Sammy and De get in after talking for a moment and we're off. Hopefully I'll feel better after a while of driving.


	3. What Do You Remember?

Fun fact I did not feel better once we started driving. My tummy cramped up and I double over in the back seat. I whimper slightly and I feel a hand on my back. Sammys large hand rubs circles on my back carefully. I have the sudden urge that I'm going to throw up. I sit up quickly a hand on my mouth tugging on Sammys shirt panicked.

"Dean, Dean you need to pull over like now. She's going to be sick. It's okay honey it's okay just hold on for a few more seconds." 

De pulls over quickly and Pap..Sammy jumps out of the car lifting me out quickly and leaning me over just as the contents of my stomach reaches my throat. I puke all over the grassy area while Papa rubs my back. I feel myself slipping farther into my headspace. I've never had anyone take care of me when I'm like this.

"What happened sweetie was it the pancakes?" Papa says

I nod as Daddy gives me some water.

"Here wash your mouth out with this okay?" 

I rinse my mouth out spitting onto the grass. Everything is so overwhelming. I feel so bad for making them pull over. I just burst into tears, loudly whaling as Daddy picks me up. 

"Oh I know you feel so poorly don't you. It's okay honey it's okay." He says bouncing me around lightly on his hip

"She's regressed farther I believe, Because shes ill." Papa says digging around in the back of the car 

He pulls out my bag grabbing the pacifier and clipping to my shirt. He sticks it in my mouth and I suck on it frantically, trying to soothe myself. Daddy rubs my back lightly before setting me back in the car. I whimper at the warmth being taken away from me. 

"Oh I know sweetie its okay. Sammy will get in there with you won't he." 

I see Papa nod lightly before sliding in next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulder letting me lay against his chest. As Daddy gets back is Papa whispers sweet nothings in my ear occasionally kissing the top of my head.

"Dean she's got a fever, How long till we're back at the bunker? And where is Castiel?" 

Daddy starts the car and we get going. 

"We're about fifteen minutes away and Cas will meet us there. He won't be able to help her with this though. His grace isn't at full power yet. He may not be able to help her memories either. We'll just have to see."

Papa nods rubbing my arm. We get to the bunker with me dry heaving into a bag the entire way there. Papa pulls me out of the car carrying me in while Daddy gets our stuff. I rub my face on his shirt sucking my thumb because I dropped the pacifier. I cling to Papa as he walks to a bathroom sitting down on the floor with me. Daddy hands Papa some water for me and some crackers. He sits down next to Papa holding something else.

"Sweet pea I've got some medicine for you. It'll help you feel better. Come on turn around for me okay?" 

I peak out from my hiding spot in Papas chest and I whimper. The syringe of purple liquid hanging in Daddys hand. I don't want to take the medicine. I hide my face again and Papa pets my head. 

"Sweetie you need to take the medicine I promise after you take it we'll get you into some comfy clothes and we can get Cassy and watch a movie. How does that sound huh? A movie night with Sammy and De?" 

That did sound nice..I turn my head enough for Daddy to slip the end of the syringe past my lips pushing the medicine into my mouth. I swallow it quickly and Papa hands me water to wash the yucky taste down. I take it gladly, Chugging the liquid down quickly. 

"Slow down sweetie we don't want that tummy upset again okay?" 

I nod taking the next sip slowly. I hand the water back to Daddy before clinging to Papas chest again. He rubs my back lightly standing up and carrying me to his room. Daddy brings me a change of clothes and a pull up. Papa lays me down and I whimper at the loss of warmth but he hands me Cassy and everything is better. I rub Cassy against my face trying to make the headache go away. 

"I know sweetie your head hurts doesn't it." 

I nod weakly as Papa changes me out of my clothes. He pulls the shirt off first leaving me shivering and cold. He takes off the bra and then my jeans and pull up I had on. It was dry of course. He slips on a new one and holds up the pajamas that daddy picked out. They're footie pajamas with little hearts all over it. I smile lightly wiggling a bit on the soft bed.

"Oh you like these? Are they your favorite?" Papa asks

I nod quickly helping him put it on. He zips it up before handing me Cassy and picking me up. 

"There we go, all comfortable now aren't we."

I nod hugging him closer and we walk to the living room with a tv. He sets me down on the squishy couch and Daddy walks in carrying some foods and stuff. He and Papa whisper back and forth for a moment. I sniffle a little and they turn to face me. Daddy comes over to me and sits on his knees infront of me.

"Hey little one I have to tell you something."

I cock my head to the side waiting 

"Well Sammy and I have a friend coming over. He's gonna help you feel better okay? His name is Castiel." 

I nod slightly a bit worried and he pets my head softly. 

"De and Sammy will protect you don't worry"

I nod reaching out to hug him. He picks me up and bounces me around while Papa starts the movie. It's the movie Finding Nemo! I love that movie. Daddy turns me around so I'm facing the TV still on his lap. My tummy give another grumble and I whimper holding my tummy. Daddy hands me the small trashcan by the couch but I shake my head. Papa brings me some water before sitting down next to Daddy and I. I continue to watch the movie carefully taking sips of water. I hear a door open somewhere in the bunker and I tense up. Daddy catches on immediately and rubs my side.

"It's okay silly remember, I told you Castiel was coming. That's just him." 

I nod still a bit tense. I feel embarrassed for him to see me like this. I turn around in Daddys lap and curl into his arms. I bury my head in his shoulder. I hear someone enter the room and Papa stands up and I hear them whispering to each other. A few moments later I hear someone squat down in front of Daddy and I. Daddy tries to move me and I cling harder to him.

"Sweetie it's just Cas he won't hurt you."

"That's right, I'm here to help. There's no reason to be afraid." A gravily voice says from behind me 

I peak out from Daddys chest to be met with a pair of sparkiling blue eyes. I feel myself relax for a moment and the Dark haired man smiles softly. I cock my head to one side. He seems familiar in some way. He holds one of his hands out for me to take and with hesitance I take it. A flash and a memory comes back. 

~

I'm back with my mother I can't be more than 4 or 5, she's gone on a hunt and I'm all alone. Not all alone someone is with me. Cas is there, making me food and taking care of me. I'm so little. He pets my head lightly.

"Eat up sweet girl and hurry you mommy will be home very soon" 

I nod turning to eat "Thank you Cassy!" I say cheerfully 

He smiles lightly letting me finish my food. He cleans up the plastic wear quickly before whisking me away to the motel bed. He tucks me in before handing me the giraffe stuffed animal I still have to this day. He kisses my forehead lightly sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. 

"Cassy why I not go with you?" 

"Sweetie you know why, Your mommy needs you here. I'm sorry, I know she's mean sometimes and Cas wishes he could take you away but you have to stay here. Remember Cassy will always watch over you and I will always come back to you" He says pushing the stuffed animal farther into my grip

I nod slightly snuggling with the animal. He lets his hand graze my face and I feel myself relax beginning to succumb to sleep. He nods as if to tell me it's okay to go to sleep and I close my eyes as I hear a flutter of wings.

~

The blue eyed man lets go of my hand quickly. I look at him confused. Cassy? He hasn't changed at all. I reach a hand out to touch his face and he leans into it. 

"Cassy?" 

He nods lightly and I nearly jump into his arms. 

"Cassy! Cassy! You came back!" I squeal 

The force of me jumping into him sends him flying backwards. He lands on his back with me in his arms. I feel him laugh rubbing my back lightly. I can feel De and Sammy looking and I sit up wanting Cassy to explain and explain he did.

"When she was younger, a year before she met you. I took care of her. Her mother took her on hunts but would leave her in the room to her own devices. She needed someone to take care of her. I gave her that giraffe as a present to know that she was never truly alone." 

De nods and Sammy smiles slightly. They help Cas and I up so that I'm sitting between De and Sammy and Cas is in a chair infront of me. De taps my shoulder to get my attention. 

"You know how De said Cas would help make you better?" I nod quickly "Well he's going to help you remember Sammy and I okay?" I nod again "All you have to do is sit here and hold his hands then you'll remember."

"Dean I wouldn't-" Cas starts but is cut off by a glare by De 

De rubs my back lightly and I look up at Cas. He nods and holds out his hands again. I hesitate before taking his hands. Memories flash by but I know they're there. Sammy taking me to the library De bathing me. De taking me to see movies that Definetly weren't for my age. Sammy giving me lessons in research and De taking me to a gun range. Sammy making me eat healthy and De sneaking out to get us ice cream. I feel tears run down my cheeks not of sadness but of happiness. Sammy feeding me when I was to sick to hold a spoon. De brushing the mattes out of my hair. My mother, I remember everything about her. The hunts, the drugs, the beating. My mind spins before shutting down completely. 

~ 

"Cas why is she crying? What's going on?" 

"She's remembering everything Dean it's a bit overwhelming she might end up passin-"

She collapses unconsciously onto my shoulder. I check her pulse and breathing. She's okay, she's fine. Cas moves from the chair infront of us to the recliner across the room, His hand on his head. 

"She needs rest, Time to process." He mumbles flopping into the chair

I nod and Sam helps me up, Holding her in my arms. I take her to my room laying her in the bed. I tuck the stuffed animal under her arm before tucking her in. She snuggles into the warmth of the bed and Sam hands me a baby monitor. I set on on the night stand before clipping the other to my belt. I stand up running a hand through my hair. 

"You think she'll be okay?" I ask walking with Sam back to the living room 

"Definitely she just needs rest. Her minds overwhelmed." 

"Well I guess while we've got a bit a free time we can order her some stuff online and paint her room. What color would she like?"

"Her favorite color is sky blue." Cas states rubbing his hands over his face 

"You good?" I ask while Sam grabs the laptop 

"It took a lot out of me but I'm okay" He says smiling slightly

Sam plops down on the couch next to me opening the laptop quickly. He searches for a few things putting in all the things for a nursery along with a few outfits. She'll need pull ups and diapers too. He lets me order them before having them shipped to us. I yawn as does Sam. It's about midnight by now and we're all exhausted. I stand up quickly.

"Come on you two off to bed" I say helping Sam and Cas up

"Cas you can sleep in the guest room. Sam go to bed we'll paint her room tomorrow."

"Where are you going to sleep?" Cas asks stumbling slightly

"Ill sleep on the couch so that Ember can rest in my bed." 

They nod before stumbling sleepily to their respective beds. I flop back down on the couch flipping the TV to the an old western movie. I hear her shift in the bed via the baby monitor. I have to resits every urge to go check on her. I just want her safe and sound. I remember when she was nine her mother brought her to us and dumped her while she hunted with Dad. Ember was distraught, Something had happened to her yet she never told us what. She laid in our musty motel bed for hours just crying silently. She wouldn't let us get near her to help. That broke my heart. To be so close and not be able to do anything. She called for me at night letting me sit with her at night. Eventually I coaxed her into a bath. The bruises were all I needed to see to know what her mother had let happen. Em told me not to worry about it but how could I not worry. She was in pain and her mother was the cause. I wanted to beat the ladys head in right then and there but I knew Dad would have kicked Em out in a heart beat. Things continue to float around in my mind till I drift off to sleep. A few what I can assume is hours later, because the sun was rising, I hear a soft voice calling me in a tone all to familiar. 

"Daddyy" Em crys out 

I know she's calling for me, She use to call me that when we were younger. She's probably regressed to a 3 or 4 year old judging by the child like sound in her voice.

~

I wake up with a start, where am I? I-I remember everything, That's scary. I want Daddy, He makes everything better. 

"Daddy?" I whimper softly 

No reply I try a bit louder and I hear movement and soft steps padding towards me. I hope its Daddy and not some monster. Oh no what if it is a monster. I-I can't let it get me! I duck under the blankets quickly tears starting to fall. I don't want the scary men to come any more. I hold Cassy clutched to my chest as I hear the door open. I whimper slightly and I feel the bed sink next to me.

"Now where is that Em? Is she under the bed?" I recognize that voice "Is she under the pillows?" He says lifting the pillows up and I giggle slightly "Oh I heard her. Where is that little rascal?"

I pull the blankets down slightly and he scoops me up into his arms. 

"There she is! There's my little Em!" He says tickling my sides 

I squeal and laugh at the familiar touch and sound. It's Daddy not a monster! He snuggles with me pulling me to his chest.

"Did you sleep well sweetie?" 

"Uh huh Uh huh! Daddy I remembers yous and and Papa Sammy and I remembers Cas too! Daddy can we makes pie because Das your favorite!" I ask excitedly

"Whoa whoa okay sweetie we can make pie later what about some breakfast first? You're very hyper aren't you?" He asks standing up with me on his hip

I nod quickly "Dadddyy I a big girl, I can walk!" I whine squirming against him 

He sets me down still holding my hand. 

"Okay okay big girl, Does that mean you can help me make Cas and Sam breakfast?"

"Uh huh I help a lots!" I squeal as we reach the kitchen 

Daddy sits me down in one of the chairs and I watch him as he gets everything out. He gets out the eggs and he hands them to me carefully. 

"Now This is very important, You hold these eggs for Daddy and make sure they don't break" 

I nod wide eyed focused on holding them carefully. I can't drop them or Daddy will be sad. I hear Daddy shuffling around. After a few minutes he holds his hand out for the eggs. I give them to him carefully.

"There we go such a good girl for me! You did a great job. Now could you go wake up Papa and Cas?" 

I look up at him excitedly "Yeah! Yeah! I can dos that!" 

He chuckles as I scamper off down the hall. I peak in door after door looking for the sleeping men. I open one to see Cas sleeping quietly and I sneak over to him. 

"Cassy is time to gets up!" I whisper excitedly tugging on his night shirt "Daddy and I makin breakfast come on Cassy!" 

He smiles a bit finally opening his eyes. He ruffles my hair before sitting up and stretching.

"I go wake up Papa now! Daddy said to goes to the kitchen!" I say scampering off 

I open another door and see Papa. His feet hang off the bed, It looks really silly. I toddle over to the side of the bed. 

"Papa? Papa is time to get up!" I say quietly sitting on the edge of the bed 

Before I know it I'm wrapped into a bear hug and I squeal. He smiles nuzzling my stomach. 

"Papa that tickles!" I squeal with laughter 

He chuckles lightly pulling away far enough to see my face.

"So how much does little Em remember?" 

"I remembers everything silly!" I giggle as he hugs me close to him 

"Hmm does that mean you remember...The...Tickle monster!" He laughs holding up one of his hands in a claw shape

He brings it down tickling my tummy and under my arms. I scream and laugh.

"Papa No not the tickle monster!!" I squeal trying to get away 

He chuckles lightly slowing his movements till we're just laying next to eachother, out of breath. 

"Daddy and I made breakfast Papa! We needs to go eat!" I say sitting up

"Okay okay lets go" He says sitting up next to me 

"Papa ride!" I say as he stands up 

"Okay hop on sweetie!" He says grinning 

He turns his back to me and I jump on his back, holding onto his shoulders. His arms hold my legs as we walk to the kitchen. He carries me to the kitchen where Cassy is already there pouring himself some coffee. On the table is an omelette and some bacon and eggs and hash browns. Daddy also got me my own plate and sippy cup too! Papa sets me down carefully before sitting down to eat. I scamper over to me seat next to Daddys and he helps to feed me. I grab the sippy cup and use both hands to drink it. Half way through a drink I have a terrible flashback. A mean man standing over me, I'm wearing a leash and a collar but I nakie? That's not right I a little girl I need comfy clothes. His hand comes down on my bottom and I yelp letting tears flow. I come back to reality to realize I dropped the sippy cup and Juice went all down my front. I start to cry. Daddy will be mad at me now I made a mess. He picks up the cup quickly. 

"Oh sweetie no tears it's okay Daddy isn't mad, It was an accident. Come on up we go." He picks me up quickly "Lets go get you out of thoes sticky clothes. Daddy isn't mad I promise"

I continue to wail into his shoulder. "D-daddy I Sorry D-don't be mads at me! I Be goods I-I promise! N-No spankies p-please!" 

"Oh sweetie no spankings Daddy isn't mad it's okay" He says laying me down after stripping me out of the sticky clothes 

He cleans my skin quickly with baby wipes out of my dino bag. I continue to cry. That mean man hurted me so much, I didn't wants to do those dirty things. He puts a baggy sweatshirt over my head and I breathe in the scent of Daddy. He picks me up again bouncing me on his hip.

"Now now what's got you all worked up baby? I know you don't get sad over spilled juice." 

I don't know the words how to I tell Daddy what happened? "B-Bad dream" I sob trying to explain

"You remembered something not so good didn't you? It's okay baby girl Daddy will protect you. Don't you worry about the mean old men anymore Daddy is here."

"Is she okay what happened?" I hear Papa ask from the door

"She had a flash back. She thought she was going to be in trouble for spilling the juice." Daddy says still bouncing me around 

"We need to talk to Cas about this. She obviously remembers the good but what about the bad." Papa says quietly placing a loving hand on my shivering back 

"Yeah we need to know if this is going to happen again or if Cas withheld the bad memories from her."


	4. Bad Memories

Daddy sits down on the couch and holds me carefully in his arms, whispering sweet words into my ears. My body shudders with sobs that I can't control. Castiel sits down in the chair across from De and I, while Sammy sits next to us rubbing my back softly. 

"I'm sorry I thought I blocked all of those memories from resurfacing."

"What memories?" Daddys chest rumbles as he speaks

"Dean I don't believe it would be wise to talk about it with her still being here."

I can feel their eyes on the back of my head. I come back to being big my body movements returning to normal. My sobs turn to sniffles and I sit up on Deans lap, wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"I'm big now Dean, I want to go lay down for a minute anyway, You all talk"

"Are you sure Em?" Sam pipes up

The look on his face is devastating, full of worry and fear.

"I'm fine Sam I promise, I just have a lot to process. I'll be okay."

He nods as I stand up from Deans lap. His hand lingers in mine and I squeeze it lightly. I walk around the couch and down the hall to the spare room. My body flops onto the bed as my mind wanders.

~

"Cas tell us what's going on, What did you hide from her or rather try to hide from her." Dean blurts out

"Well she's been through a lot and not just hunting wise. She was sold into a sexual slavery contract when she was 18, She stayed with the abuser for three years and she was found by the police and she's been out for two years now. Her subconscious blocked out the memories of that time but when I tried to help her regain her memories they came back as well. I tried to hide most of them from her mind but it's only temporary. I can't control them forever. That's why we were both so exhausted, I was trying to push those memories back into her subconscious."

"So whats going to happen, Are they going to keep coming back?" 

"I can't be sure but it is likely they will resurface considering one already has" Cas says calmly

"Can you tell us more about the bastard that did this to her? About the memories? I want to know so we don't trigger her."

"Dean I feel like that would invade her privacy"

"I don't give a damn I need to know who did this to her Cas!" Deans fist slams into the table

"Dean stop she'll hear you, we need to stay calm around her for now, We don't know what happened to her while she was in captivity but we know what happened to her as a child. We've been there for her before we need to do that now." I say trying to calm Dean down "Cas is there anything you can tell us, anything at all?"

"The man that she was a slave to is still in jail, the put him in when another slave went to the police, thats when they found her. The police raided the house and found her in the basement. She needs comfort and cannot stand yelling. I believe that yelling would send her into a spiral of memories. She also use to self harm while she was there. She would scratch at her ankles and her thighs till they were raw. At one point she would self harm with a straight razor. So obviously we will have to watch her around sharp objects. I don't feel like it would be intentional but she might go to deep especially if she is in the middle of flashback."

Castiel stops talking and we sit in silence for a bit. She didn't deserve any of it. Dean shakes his head getting up from the couch and stalking around the room. 

"There has to be something more we can do." He says angrily

"Dean we just have to be there for her. Maybe later down the road something will come up that we can do." I say in a calming voice 

He rolls his eyes and plops back down on to the couch. Cas rubs his hands over his face as we sit in silence. I know Dean wants to help but I can foresee problems because of his temper. I've seen the scars on her body and so has Dean but we don't know what caused them. It could be from her hunting, her childhood, her self harm or her time in captivity. Dean cards his hands through his hair. 

"I'm going to bed its been a trying day." He says standing up and walking out

Cas waits till he hears Deans door shut then he turns to me.

"You need to watch him Sam. He'll cause her to have a flashback with that temper."

"I know but there's nothing I can do if he goes off. You know him Cas."

I glance at the clock on the wall. It's already 10 pm. Castiel stands up quietly.

"We need to sleep, she needs to sleep. We've had a rough day. We can talk more in the morning."

I nod standing up as Cas moves to another spare room. I wander down the hall, past Embers room and into mine down the hall. Her room sounds quiet so I know she's probably asleep. I shut my door quietly. I undress slipping on my pajama pants opting out of a shirt as I crawl into bed. I turn on the bed side lamp and pick up the book beside my bed. I read through chapter after chapter of the most recent lore, Vampires. I can't sleep, I stand up padding into the conjoined bathroom. Her face floats into my mind as I wash my face. I remember every time she would come over, she would become more and more scared. She wouldn't let us touch her but we could still talk to her. We made her a pillow fort one day because she said she didn't want to go home. I let out a chuckle into the towel I'm drying my face off with. She was always such a sweet girl. I sit on the edge of my bed quietly running my hands through my hair. 

~

I let my mind wander as I turn over in bed. I don't know what to do, my mind is numb. I feel tightness in my chest and I start to cry. I don't know why I'm crying but I can't help it. I let the tears fall. They hit my pillow slowly soaking it. My finger nails find there way to my thigh, scratching hard, a coping mechanism I can't tell where I picked it up from. My heart thumps in my chest and my lungs tighten up. I soft sob wracks through my body. I don't want to be a burden and I know I am. The way Dean was yelling, I couldn't tell what he was saying but I know it was about me. I can't stay here and be a burden on them. The two people who were the nicest to me when I was younger. I hop up grabbing my bag. I shove my clothes into it. I can't make they're life worse, they already have to hunt the monsters of the world, they don't need me. I glance around the room. Do I really want to leave?


	5. Leaving

Did I really want to leave? I nod to myself pulling out my jacket. The bike is in the garage and I make my way through the bunker. I get to the garage strapping my bag to my bike. I can't be here anymore. I can't hurt them anymore. I rev up the bike and ride off to no where in particular. I pull into a run down motel after driving for hours. The parking lot is almost empty and the sun is about to come up as I enter the front office carrying my bag over my shoulder. The woman manning the front desk is squat with a kind face. I pay for two nights and she shows me to my room, talking about her three small kids and how they're going to school soon. I don't pay attention, I can't. She shows me in and then bids a kind farewell and says if I need anything to come see her. I nod shutting the door quietly. I quickly drop my bag drawing numerous sigils on the doors and windows. I don't want castiel to see where I am. Not that they would look for me anyway. I unpack my bag, putting the clothes away, I take out the bottle of whiskey, first aid kit, and a disposible cell phone. I pick up the phone turning it over in my hand. They can't call me, they don't know my number. I pull a small stuffed animal out of the bag, not the giraffe but a small sloth stuffed animal. I set it on the bed. I flip open the phone calling a pizza place that has an advritizement next to the motel. The wait time for my order is 45 mins and I snap the phone closed. My frantic movements slow and I relax on the bed. The remote feels heavy in my hands as I flip through the channels. I crack open the bottle of whiskey taking a huge swig. My throat feels warm as it makes its way down to my stomach. After a while of channel surfing I settle on a show called sarah and duck. Little me would love this show but I can't be little right now. A knock on the door signals my order has arrived and I greet the pizza man kindly taking the food from him.

"Having a party?" He asks as I sign the receipt staring at the four large pizzas

"Kinda yeah" I mumble 

I quickly shut the door before any more questions can be asked. I stare at the pizzas my stomach growling. I tear into the pizzas eating a whole one before I down a whole liter of water. I feel the binge coming to an end as my depression engulfs me. I make my way to the toilet after drinking another liter of water. I shove my fingers into my throat emptying its contents into the porciline bowl. I stand up after a minute staring at my self in the mirror. I am disgusting, vile even. My fat thighs and stomach more prominent now than ever. They couldn't love me. I dig into the first aid kit pulling out a razor blade. I twirl it in my hands. I want to do it, to cut so deeply it hurts. I sit down on the bathroom floor with a towel and the whiskey. I take another swig of the whiskey letting it burn my throat. I set the blade against my thigh. As the sting of the blade peirces my skin my mind flashes. Suddenly I am tied to a medical chair my arms clamped down at the wrists my legs strapped to some stir ups. My stomach belted to the chair. I feel the gag pressed into my mouth. I see a shadow move out of the corner of my eye. The shadow moves into the light and I realize who it is, my Master.

"You are nothing but my slave, You will get that through your head. I will force you to remeber that. You are slut. You are a needy whore. You will be at my side and service me whenever I say."

With every punctuation he slaps one of my breasts. I let out whimpers with each slap. He finally stops slapping me after a few minutes and he sits on a stool inbetween my legs. 

"I will be taking away your virginity now, In all of your holes. You will be mine. I will hold your v card."

I shake my head vigorisly. I don't want him to take that. He pulls out a thick black dildo lubing it up.

"I will be taking you vaginal virginity with this. If you move I will punish you. If you scream I will punish you. You must take it like the fat bitch you are." 

He pinches my clit roughly and I bite down on the gag whining in pain. I see him pull a clamp out of a draw and set it beside him. He aims the dildo up with my hole, and I flinch at the coldness. He shoves the dildo in all the way to the hilt and I scream writhing around in pain. My privates in white hot pain. He sighs coldly pumping the dildo in and out of me. I continue to scream, pulling at the restraints on my wrists and ankles. It's tearing me apart. He finally pulls the dildo out of me and sets it on the table beside him.

"You stupid fat cunt, Didn't I tell you not to fucking move!" He screams

Tears stream down my face as he pulls a nine tail whip out of a cabinet beside him. He whips my stomach over and over again till the whelps start to bleed and my screams turn to whimpers. He positions himself between my legs once again.

"Maybe that whipping will shrink that fat off your stomach huh?" He mocks

I groan in reply and he chuckles. He lubes up another dildo pushing against my ass hole. I shake my head again vigorously. He can't, that thing won't fit.

"Oh yes dear, this is going in that asshole of yours and you aren't going to make a noise are you?" 

I shake my head weakly. He rubs the dildo against my ass hole that puckers in response.

"Oh? Your ass hole seems ready for it bitch, are you sure you're a virgin?"

Tears stream down my face as he shoves the dildo into me. I bite down hard on the gag holding back all the noise I can. He pumps the dildo into my asshole. He seems satisfied with my violation he pulls the dildo out and sets it down. 

"I am going to pierce your clitoris now."

He wipes down my privates and pulls on some gloves. He clamps my clitoral hood after pulling out a needle. He pierces it quickly and puts a ring in. I do not scream anymore, I believe my voice is gone any way. He slaps the piercing hard and I whimper softly. His hand grazes the wounds on my stomach.

I feel myself come back to reality and I realize I'm sitting in a pool of piss and blood.

"shit" I murmur to myself pressing the towel to the wounds on my thighs.

Tears stream down my face as the memories run through my mind vaguely. The blood soon soaks the towel and I stand up woozily mopping up the piss and blood. I strip out of my clothes and step into the shower. I let the warm water run over my head.

~

I feel groggy as I wake up the next morning before I hear shouting in the bunker. I jump up pulling on a shirt and running to the point of the noise. 

"Sam she's fucking gone!" Dean says turning to me

"What do you mean she's gone!?!" I ask bewildered

"Didn't you hear me? She's gone, the bike is gone, and Cas can't find her."

"She heard us yelling last night" Cas pipes upright behind us

"We have to find her. She could be hurt or worse."

"Don't talk like that Dean I'm sure she's okay."

"Sam you don't fucking know that, It's my fault she left. I was the one yelling. She must have thought we didn't want her here anymore."

That did make sense, she was fragile. He isn't right though in the fact that it isn't only his fault, its all of our faults. 

"We need to fan out and find her, check motels and hotels in the vicinity. Cas see if you can find anything that would lead us in her direction. Dean go case the stores around us and see if anyone saw her." 

They both nod as they leave. We'll find her.


	6. The Suit Wearing King

We'll find her, was what I thought two months ago. There's still no sign of her and we all have worried ourselves sick. We've checked everywhere we can think of. Her bedroom has been ransacked for any clues but none were yielded. Dean, Cas and I sit in the kitchen brain storming some ideas. Dean sits with his head in his hands. His hair is disheveled and his face gaunt. Cas sits leaning back against the chair staring at the ceiling. Deans phone goes off and he snaps up answering it quickly. I know he expects it to be her but its not. His face falls and he hangs up on whomever it is. 

"Just bobby" He mumbles returning back to his position with his head in his hands

I nod slightly. She couldn't have just disappeared. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about her being all by herself. We need her, and she needs us.

"I think we need to call Crowley" I say quickly

~

I've dropped a lot of weight since I've been without the boys. Bad memories continue to resurface and I continue to litter my body with cuts. I desperately want to go back to them, to be little, but I can't. I don't even think I could hold up my bike to get there anyway. I clutch the small sloth stuffed animal to my chest silently sobbing. I don't deserve the boys. I'm nothing but a whore and a slut. The memories of my master have flooded back including his phone number, which is always punched into my phone. I need him. I didn't have to think with him. I was his to use and I was to service him. I didn't have to think about wither I was doing something right or wrong. My thumb hovers over the call button. He would be here soon and take me. I would be nothing but a whore and a slut. I snap the phone shut, throwing it against the wall. FUCK! I'm such a pussy. I can't even go back to a guy that fed me and clothed me. I scream into my hands sliding down the wall. The stuffed sloth falling limply to the floor. Violent sobs rip through my chest and my voice cuts out. I know I've just torn my vocal cords. My body falls sideways onto the ground and I stare at the opposite wall. I see the front of my phone illuminate but I have no energy to get up. I just want to lay here and sleep. I will myself to crawl to the phone and flip it open. I attempt to speak but a small whine is all that comes out of my mouth, forgetting my vocal cords are torn. I hear a familiar voice on the other side. A voice sweet as honey. I know who it is and I flip the phone closed. I can't let them trace it. Sams to smart I can't let him find me. 

~

"You rang Moose?" Crowley says appearing out of thin air in front of us 

"We need you" I say and I feel Dean tense next to me

"How touching. What is it this time?" 

"We need you to find a girl. Send whomever you see fit but don't hurt her." 

Dean hands Crowley a picture of Ember. She hopefully still looks the same. He smirks at the photo. 

"It'll take time to find a girl like this, Hunter I assume?"

I nod quickly.

"What will I get out of this deal?"

"We'll figure that out when you find her." Dean growls, I put a hand on his shoulder

"Alright...alright" He mocks fake defeat

And with the smell of sulfur he disappears.

~

I lay on the cold carpet of the motel floor to exhausted to move. I know I should eat something, drink something, but I can't. I just want to sleep. I close my eyes for a few minutes. After a while I awake to the smell of sulfur.

"Now is that anywhere to lay? Up you go."

I feel hands under my arms but I'm to weak to fight. The figure picks me up effortlessly and sets me on the bed. They sit down next to me.

"Now moose and squirrel are looking for you but you are in no state to see them." He says and I know he's examining my body

I feel him wave his hand and suddenly something is being pressed to my lips. I pull away afraid.

"It's just water, drink, you need it." He says pressing it against my lips

I take it eagerly drinking half of it in one gulp. I feel his hand on my back rubbing small circles. I finally look at the figure taking care of me to be met with a suit clad, short haired, brown eyed man. He smirks softly.

"King of hell at your service." He says tilting forward in a bow

I nod slowly, still nervous. He waves his hand again and another drink appears on the night stand. Its a thick looking white liquid. I look from the man to the drink as he puts a straw into it. 

"It will help you have some energy to move around" He says handing to me and standing up "Now up you get, lets asses those cuts you've got there."

He motions to the numerous cuts on my thighs. I nod carefully standing up while gulping the thick liquid down. It tastes like a vanilla milkshake. He squats down touching my thighs gently. 

"Some of these need stitches. Would you like me to do them or would you like to go to a hospital?"

I point at the kind man and he smiles. 

"Alright lay down on the bed, Here's your sloth stuffed animal."

I know this stuffed animal was smaller whenever I had it last but I clutch it to my chest still sipping on the drink. I lay back down carefully exposing my cuts to the man I just met. As he stitches them up I start to feel some strength come back to me as I continue to sip on the drink. He finishes stitching them in a few minutes and wraps them up carefully. By the time he gets done I've already downed the drink and my fingers have promptly found there way into my mouth. He helps me sit up and pulls on a shirt that I don't remember him getting me. He collects my things into my bag after putting a pull up on me. A warm cloth wipes my face carefully. 

"Got to get you looking better for those Winchester, They are an absolute mess with you gone. I swear Dean almost took my head off." 

I smile lightly and he boops my nose. He picks me and the bag up and in a whirlwind of color and places I smell the familiar smell of the bunker. I am Home.


End file.
